STRAYCAT’S DOGGONE BLOG

Navigating This Blog

March 14, 2000 on 1:17 am | In Humor, Miscellany | No Comments

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a total novice when it comes to technology. To me, the “information super-highway” is a cul de sac. With this in mind, I provide, for all of you fellow technophobes, the following lighthearted guide to navigating your way through my BLOG. The information provided is accurate although not always coherent. It represents the sum total of my technical expertise on the computer.

At the top of the page, below the heading are Pages. If you take your little arrow doohickey and place it over one of the titles, it will magically be transformed into a hand doohickey, Depress the left clicker thingy and through some sort of sorcery, the information you desired will appear.

In the upper right hand corner of the BLOG, you will see a box with a big green button in the middle. Place your arrow doohickey over it and once again depress the left clicker thingy. Through some sort of blogospheric shamanism, music will suddenly begin to play. I personally chose all of the musical selections you will hear specifically to annoy you while you are touring my BLOG.

Below the above mentioned box with the green button, you will see the word Categories, and below that, the word Archives. These allow you to browse my BLOG by category (duh), or by a specific month and year (since I started the BLOG, naturally). Click on the box with the blue “down arrow” and a “drop down” menu will appear. Make your selection (by now you should know what to do with your doohickey and your thingy). Through some mystical process, your selection will appear.

Below the Categories and Archives you will see Links. If you are reading this entry, you already know this. Select the link that you wish to view using your “good ole” doohickey and thingy and click away. Through some sort of wizardry, Merlin himself retrieves the information you were seeking.

Occasionally, I will post pictures along with the text.

If you place your doohickey over a picture and it transforms into a hand, click the left thingy and instantaneously, through an occult process known only to witches, warlocks, and a few gremlins, a large economy size duplicate of the picture you selected will appear.

Finally, you will occasionally see highlighted text. If it looks like this, use your doohickey and thingy in the above prescribed manner, and from the blogospheric Ether will come an entirely different website related to the text on which you just clicked. If it looks like this, I am just highlighting a specific word or phrase. I’ve already done this a few times in the text above. If it looks like this, or this or, this, it is just me emphasizing a point, venting my rage, or yelling at you. You can move your doohickey and click your thingy until your fingers fall off, but nothing will happen. Pay it little heed.

I hope that you found this guide useful and/or entertaining. If not then you are either a drooling idiot or a humorless curmudgeon. If you actually understand the technology that makes any of this stuff work then you are a total computer geek. Adjust your foil hat, grab another bag of Cheetos, and continue “geeking” in your mother’s basement.

March 12, 2000 on 5:27 pm | In Humor, Miscellany | No Comments