STRAYCAT’S DOGGONE BLOG

Another “Politically Correct” Pigskin Prognostication

February 3, 2007 on 11:52 pm | In Humor, Miscellany |

Tomorrow is the “Super Bowl” and in keeping with the tradition I started last year, it’s time to predict the outcome using “politically correct” Liberal logic (an oxymoron).
First we consider the names of the two teams involved. This year it is the Indianapolis Colts and the Chicago Bears. Bears are vicious beasts who comsume other mammals, poor innocent little fish, and shred foliage from oxygen producing flora to quash their ravenous appetites. Colts are cute little “horsies” who have not even yet reached maturity. This puts the “PC” crowd in a quandry. Being wild animals, Bears should be protected. (Some species are even on the “Endangered Species List”). Colts are domesticated livestock and according to some, should have the same “rights” as humans. See the quandry. Few Colts who encounter Bears survive. Give this point to the Colts because they are cuter and friendlier than Bears.
The next point to consider is the home cities of the two teams. Indianapolis is located in the heartland of America. It tends to be politically Conservative for the most part. Chicago is a bastion of Liberalism with a strong Union base. This is a “no brainer”. Give this point to the Bears.
The third point to consider is the venue. This year the “honors” (re: MONEY) go to Miami, FL. Miami over-all tends to be more Liberal than the rest of Florida, although, President Bush did carry Miami in the much contested 2000 election by a slim margin. The resentment garnered by this fact would be enough to tip this point in favor of the Liberal bastion of Chicago and the Bears in the eyes of most of the “PC” crowd.
The forth point to consider is the “hometown” advantage, if any. The Colts were originally located in Baltimore, and moved to Indianapolis relatively (in the life of the NFL) recently. The last (and only) time they won a “Super Bowl” was 36 years ago when they were in Baltimore in 1971. The Bears have been a mainstay in Chicago since the 1920’s. They have only won one other “Super Bowl” and that was 21 years ago in 1986. I think that the “PC” crowd would give this point to Indianapoils because it is only “fair” that they win since it has been longer between championships for them (the Colts).
The last point to consider is the weather. Since the game will be played in Miami, it shouldn’t be a factor. There is a chance of rain forcast around game time, but both Indianapolis and Chicago are known to get rain. The humidity and heat in Miami should also be no problem for either team since both are located in the mid-west where it has been known to get hot and humid. Even in the one in a quintillion chance of snow, neither team would gain an advantage since it also snows in the midwest. (Note: should more “key” players from one team or the other die of a coronary at the sight of snow in Miami, it could affect the outcome of the game).
Now for the prediction. It’s a close race. The “pundits” favor Indianapolis’ potent offense over Chicago’s strong defense by 7 points. Those are the Las Vegas odds. I think Liberalism will win out and the Politically Correct would choose the Chicago Bears. As much as it pains me to do so, I’d have to agree with the “PC” crowd.
I pick “DA Bears”, but by less than 7 points. My guess at the score is 27 to 21 (maybe 24) Bears!!!!!!!